We might be 10 days into the new year, but I wanted to recap 2016 and share some of my goals/resolutions for 2017.
2016 was by far one of the hardest years yet. Being pregnant and sick for most of it was awful and so many doubts and fears clouded my mind most days. Too many times I'd call my mom crying because I didn't want to be sick or pregnant anymore and she'd always ask, "did you pray?"
My mom has one of the most genuine and sweetest testimonies of prayer and I've always loved and admired her for that, but too many times I solely relied on her testimony to pull me through whatever I was going through.
There were times she'd just tell me to pray and had to get off the phone. So there I'd be lying on the bathroom floor praying because I hadn't been able to keep anything down; but as soon as I prayed and put my trust and faith in our Savior I was able to get up and eat or accomplish whatever I needed to that day.
However I often would forget the help and strength I was given during these times and have to rediscover how much the Lord is there to help me and to love me.
Then Hazel was born and all of those doubts and fears surfaced and ate at me every day. So there I was again, calling my mom when I should've been praying.
Before we left for Christmas I wrote down all of the things I wanted to change and improve on with myself and my relationships this year. Some of them are silly and some are really personal.
-Go visiting teaching! I've been terrible at this ever since I had Hazel. Which isn't an excuse, but I've used it as one every month.
-Go to the temple once a month. I also became terrible at this while I was pregnant and after Hazel was born. I'm hoping my new temple dress will help :)
-Enjoy church and my calling. Not gonna lie, I don't like either of them these days. Church just stresses me out with a baby. The blowouts, the feedings, the not sleeping. It just really throws Hazel and I off. Then my calling. Making the Relief Society bulletin should be easy but it's not. Trying to communicate with everyone involved and getting different answers for things every week and then trying to print everything off before church (which never happens), I end up missing all of Sunday school and no one even looks at it since they send out an email of it every week. I definitely haven't grown where I've been planted the last 2+ years.
-Write in my journal. I was really good about this up until I started dating Pete and then I just stopped. I've written a few things down the last 3 years, but definitely not every day.
-Find opportunities to serve. I've always wanted to be better at this, but have never felt comfortable actually doing it. Comfort zone issues, I blame you. My Relief Society however is really big into giving people in the ward meals when they're going through anything. So I just need to share some of the food I love to make. Serving and sharing my talent- Win, win!
-Be more patient. Patience is definitely a weakness of mine. I'm so easily flustered that I just get annoyed and end up wanting to quit. Which my parents taught me never to do. This one is going to be super hard for me and will take more than a year to master.
-Love myself. And Pete and Hazel more. There's been to many days I beat myself up over the smallest things and that just needs to stop. I'm only human, I can make a few mistakes.
-Take more pictures. Because I know I'll miss this stage of my life.
-Follow my budget! This is a big one for me. With Pete going back to school we really want to save as much as we can.
-Get alone time every week. Walking around Target shouldn't count right? But it's just so peacefully at night with no baby in tow.
-Go on dates with Pete. We watch way to much Netflix these days that sometimes we hardly interact because we're both just drained. We just need to actually plan something! Plus it helps we have built in babysitters, gotta love those aunts and uncles.
-Workout 3x per week. I've actually been doing really good at this! At least so far and I've noticed I'm not nearly as tired. Definitely appreciating this body I was given.
-Eat less sugar. I eat way to many sugar cookies from sodalicious, it's a problem.
-Smile and laugh more often. I feel like ever since I had Hazel I've taken life so seriously. I mean her and I will smile and make faces at each other, but I want to be better at finding joy in everything I've been given and that surrounds me.
-Read more. Starting with Harry Potter since Pete always says I need to read it on my own.
-Call my grandparents more often. I want to always be able to remember their voices and laughs.
-Bare my testimony. I haven't shared my testimony in church since November 2010. I know I have one, but sharing it has never been easy. The pulpit just terrifies me. So once this year I'm going to do it.
-Don't get pregnant. I'm not ready for that yet ha.
This might seem long, it kind of is, but I just really want to focus on myself this year. I want to be the best wife, mother, sister, daughter and friend to those who are apart of my life. I want to notice and enjoy all of the little things and share my happiness with others.
Thanks for reading. Here's a cute picture of Hazel. She just kills me with that smile!
